Finalizing the shoulders of Bridget?

It’s official. “Saddle Rabbit” is definitely an interested buyer.

   My friend “Dick Young Mother” apologized and is going to “call himself back”  

   I think my Grandma was hallucinating when she left this voicemail

   Finally, my favorite message…..

    My friend cordially inviting me to “lunch in the shower”

(via fuckyeah1990s)

Whoa. Remember when collecting Goosebumps books was literally a competition in elementary school?

How about the updated versions where you could choose your destiny (e.g. “Turn to page 76 to run away or turn to page 66 to face the demons!)